Diary

breathe slowly and deep...

2010-06-25T12:03:00.000-07:00

I have sort of headache that I can’t explain where exactly hurts and when it started and how bad it is in terms of the grading. I just know that I’m not in a mood for anything… I don’t have concentration which is not a surprise and also I hate biochemistry which again is not a surprise. I’m in a mood that I don’t really like anything. I don’t know what I want. I was thinking if I was in a better situation and didn’t have to study in a closed room all the day, what exactly I wished to do?!! I decided with this mood that I’m in I didn’t want to do anything. That means either my mood is in a very bad situation OR I’m switching to a “mono directional” personality who just can study and nothing else is his/her art. Have I really changed that much?! Did I become a nerd? No I don’t like to think about myself that way. It is just unfair. I still have a lot of plans in my head and I’m looking to an opportunity to make them to reality.
Maybe I’m so tired and I don’t know how to explain my tiredness; instead I’m day dreaming all the day and hoping for relieve.
I really need to get this thing done… And for that I need all my energy and courage and all my self-steam to grow up not to be depressed at this time. Without a doubt I tried as much as I could, I tried hard and I shouldn’t destroy it at this time that the goal is just in a few steps. My goal now is like one of those huge, tall mountains that we would plan for climbing up them for a long time. We had a lot of exercise and planning to reach them. We knew we had to keep our energy for the entire road and shouldn’t spend all of it at the start. We needed energy for coming down the hill too. Remember when you can’t see the top of the mountain anymore that means you are quite close. Now it’s time to breathe deeply and slowly. You have to keep in mind that you need a little bit of your energy to celebrate at the top. Coming down seems so easy but you have a lot of experiences in this matter, you know it’s not as easy as it seems. Remember those nights that searching for the road in dark valleys seemed even longer than the road you had passed that morning.
Now I feel I’m close to the top… It seems the top is not in the view to be seen… But I know it’s there. I am sure I have seen it from far away and I know that it might be different when you are just standing on its top… Breathe slowly and deeply; you are just there…

Never just right

2010-06-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

Ever since I started coming to this study room about nine months ago, well maybe not exactly nine months, it might be less since I first used the study rooms in the second floor which I switched to third floor after a while; anyways, the temperature of this room has never been just right. I’ve seen a lot of changes in the weather during this time… I saw the leaves got yellow and brown and left the trees when one of those windy days blew you off the ground and broke your umbrella… I say heavy rains, snow, freezing ground, melting the ice, new leaves on the trees… In all of those days and still in these warm days of June that you can enjoy the nice weather and beauty of outside, still the temperature in the study room is not fixed to a tolerable, good and comfortable one. Just four days ago I had to leave early because I was freezing to my bone and couldn’t move my hands…!!! It was when I decided that this was intentional since there are just a few study rooms and a lot of people to use them; when it’s unbearable nobody can use it for a long time!!! After that day I didn’t come to library any more since I was afraid of catching cold!! But when you don’t have a suitable area at home, you have to ruin your weekend eventually by locking yourself in the study room of library…
I was wondering these people all know a lot about controlling the temperature at their own house since they have to pay for the bill, but when it comes to the bills that they have to pay out of the taxes they themselves are paying, they don’t care at all…
Today it is damn hot in here that I can’t breathe…!! I don’t know how I’m supposed to tolerate it till afternoon?! It’s just 10:30 and I’m already sweating. I’m not going to leave even if I have to take my shirt off!! I’m not giving up this room at least not today because I’ve got so much to do…

How do you know it’s the year 2010?

2010-04-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

1- You are a family of three with five cell phones
2- You send email to your colleague who is sitting next to you
3- You don’t keep in touch with those who don’t have an email
4- You park your car at the house and call home to someone come and help with groceries
5- All TV advertisements have a web address
6- When you leave home without your cell, you get nervous and go back to take it; without noticing that you have spent 20-30 years without it
8- First thing in the morning is to check the Internet even before breakfast
9- While reading these lines you are smiling at yourself because you have done all of these
10- You have been deep engaged with these lines that you forgot these lines don’t have number 7
11- Now you went back to check for number 7
12- And I’m sure if you go back again, you will find it…
13- You go back up again, and you won’t find it… well I was just joking; you don’t trust yourself either…

18!

2010-03-08T10:27:00.000-08:00

If I want to be a little bit superstitious, I should hate the number 18. This is the number that always in school would remind me of a hard work but not perfect. A kind of effort that didn't give the result.I preferred 17 to 18 because for 17 I didn’t need to kill myself and it was usually OK. But 18 was like an unfinished job.
Based on Jalali Calendar, Dad left us on 18th of Tir which was July 9th 1983; My dear young and beautiful aunt left us on 18th Farvardin which was April 7th 1991; My uncle left us without even I could see him on 18th Esfand which was March 9th 2006; None of these were the dates I could have changed…and finally I left my homeland on April 18th no matter what year because I don’t want it to remind me of the years past although it's unforgettable…
I think I have a right to at least hate this number a little bit…

Professional...

2010-02-16T11:23:00.000-08:00

"Shape Of My Heart"

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for the respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape of my heart

humpty-dumpty

2010-01-29T06:27:00.000-08:00

Still I can’t believe it… People just destroy their lives like in a second, as if nothing has happened and as if they are not responsible for any of those problems they have made… They just simply go to court and like a snap in fingers get divorced and that’s it…
But what about the kids? What about those two little angels, two little sensitive creatures who will probably get hurt, their little hearts will break like two little tiny delicate glasses… Who is going to put those little pieces together again? (They have probably just learnt to sing the “Humpty Dumpty…”). Who is going to cure a broken heart? And who is going to say they will forget?! Those little angels will NEVER ever forget such a thing.
I guess the confidentiality sometimes makes the issue more problematic… If we believe in confidentiality and if we believe any adult people can make all the decisions for their lives and if we believe that it’s going to be their decision whether they go to family counseling or not; then perhaps there wouldn’t be any married couple in the world or at least around us…
I couldn’t sleep last night and still I can’t believe what I heard and all of its consequences…We adult people are so selfish and stubborn...

2009-11-09T11:37:00.000-08:00

How often do you run out of pen? What is the possibility that you have just one pen, you are studying like a nerd, taking notes; all of a sudden that only pen stops working?!
I remember long time ago I had an argument with the insurance agency about rejecting my insurance papers and not paying them, his argument was that because our register notebook was written by different colors in different days so they had to be fake….!! Actually as far as I remember, during school time most of our pens would work just for a couple of weeks and we had to switch to a new one soon, not even a “BIC” was really a BIC! For the final exams we usually took bunch of pens, so if one of them stopped working, we would have another one...
But this one was a good one and I admit it was a real “BIC”… Now why should it stop working right now? In the library? And I don’t have anything else; and I was taking good notes… Oh GOD…

2009-10-28T18:32:00.000-07:00

We just carved our pumpkin, the pumpkin of the year. That reminded me of our first pumpkin when Kiana was exactly the same age as Rana is right now. I had just learned in my class how to carve a pumpkin and that very day I bought a pumpkin from “Wards”, Kiana was so excited and I admit I was too. Kiana was a Barbie princess and we started our treat or trick one day earlier than other people, we just messed up the date… We had heard about the upscale area of the town with nice Halloween decoration… we went there and surprisingly everybody was ready for us. They would remind us that we are a little bit early, but still they were ready to give her treat…
I really wished we could carve this pumpkin with Rana. Halloween is more fun for her age; she could be a princess, a witch, a fairy, or even a pumpkin. You think it is going to ever happen that we carve our pumpkin together?…Ever since I left her three months ago, with her face full of tears, and our promises that Kiana would be back from the airport… Our promise was eventually turned out to be wrong; still I can hear her begging for coming with us. Should she had come, she would be dead tired by staying up till 4 am… and I promised myself that next time I won’t let anybody come to the airport, one of THOSE promises…This is a bad tradition… this is a Big Bad World…

2009-10-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

Feeling terribly overwhelmed with life, I am hoping I don’t give up what I already started … Living my life so damn fast, watching days and weeks come and go so fast, and we don’t even have time to talk about our routine life… First of all we don’t see each other very often. Even though the process of thinking is much faster than talking; we still don’t have time for thinking. I don’t want to think about anything new, don’t want to think about any disturbances, don’t want to think about any new stresses; just so damn busy life, I never had this much before. I don’t care if someone has just given birth to a baby, I don’t care if the other one is having a party and wants to have people get together. My life at home contains just the maintenances just to make the home “livable”; not even a little bit more. Cleaning the house just every 3-4 weeks, fill up the dishwasher as much as I can and also use it more often, doing laundry every 10-15 days… I have never been like this before; well, I have never been this much overwhelmed before either. Am I going to finish this? I have to, I don't have any choice...

2009-10-16T13:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes for no good reason a memory sticks to my mind and even though I’m doing something else, it stays there all day and I kind of live with it. Today with all the hormone mechanisms and endocrinology, I’ve had some sweet memories of this summer during our trip to home; some memories of having fun and feeling relax, no stress, feeling comfortable. Still I’m confused of the way I could manage to live so far away for a long time and it seems it’s getting more permanent as we go forward. It seems in the back of my mind I still have some problem with it being stable and permanent since when I think of the summer trip, I forget it was far away, for a few tenth of a second I think I can repeat it in a near future, then I recognize that it needs a lot of prerequisites to be able to achieve it again. All of a sudden I remember that it wasn’t a trip to New Hampshire, it was more than two thousand miles away,…
I don’t know, maybe I’m starting an early onset of Alzheimer, or it might be because of being so tired all the time. When I wake up so early in the morning, I noticed that I can remember part of my dreams, which is almost unusual for me to recall them. I noticed most of the time my dreams contains good memories of the near past. I assume I miss those days so much. But let’s being honest, let’s face it that those days are not coming back soon, not even in a year from now…

Better late than never

2009-10-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe how weeks are going by fast! It’s already Thursday night and I feel that last weekend was just yesterday. I crave for learning and I want to swallow all the chapters. I feel like time stops when I’m watching the lectures and I want it to be faster and faster then I can swallow more and more. On the other hand the days go fast and I still have a lot to do. If I could just have a few hours and not fall asleep…
Why didn’t I recognize this sooner? Why didn’t I use this opportunity twenty years ago? Maybe I was so naïve at the time, or maybe I was meant to be this way. I don't want to go through fate and these stuff now. What ever the reason is, I know that “better late than never”.

We are the world

2009-07-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

There comes a time
When we heed a certain call
When the world must come together as one
There are people dying
And it's time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all

We can't go on
Pretending day by day
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
We are all a part of
God's great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Send them your heart
So they'll know that someone cares
And their lives will be stronger and free
As God has shown us by turning stone to bread
So we all must lend a helping hand

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

When you're down and out
There seems no hope at all
But if you just believe
There's no way we can fall
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change will only come
When we stand together as one

We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let's start giving
There's a choice we're making
We're saving our own lives
It's true we'll make a better day
Just you and me

Bad days

2009-06-30T09:31:00.000-07:00

These days are the worst days of my life, with an unclear future, no hope to continue, no courage to make any change, and feel empty inside. I go to work just as a duty to be done, full of disappointments. I spend days and nights just as a duty that needs to be done, I eat just because I feel it's time for it, not because I really love that food. I go to jogging just to spent few more minutes of my evening without mourning of "what to do, what to do". I feel I'm starting a depression phase but I am probably not thoroughly in it. I think we have a 2-year period for these kind of disappointments, but this time it seems to take longer than before...
I need a change, I need a good news, I need some developments...where did my energy go?!!

selfish me

2009-06-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

I feel so selfish because I’m furious about the situation that ruined my vacation and probably deprived me from visiting my family, while this same situation has ruined a lot of people’s lives and routines. I feel selfish because I’m mad with everybody who is making this chaos worse and doesn’t let peace come to my country, which it hasn’t been for a long long time of course, while I believe that any changes need some process. Finally I feel selfish because we are paying some fines for changing our itinerary, while people are risking their lives to make a change.

Who knew they cry too?

2009-06-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

“I always figured I knew all about Iran. It’s far away, warm, and hates America...Since they’ve been so much in the news, I’ve discovered all kinds of new things about Iran. Did you know that not everybody there agrees on everything all the time?... ”
These few sentences from Elliott Kalan in the “metro” this morning was a little bit disappointing. I always read his articles and almost always enjoyed them. But this one was sort of unsophisticated. Was that a joke or all American journalists are really this much naïve? Specially a writer for “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”!! I believe if nobody knows Iran and its political issues, Jon Stewart knows it well; or is that also just a comedy show for entertainment?! It was all disappointing to see that a professional writer gathers his information from “whatever wrong thing somebody tells him”. It’s just disappointing to find out that one of American journalists doesn’t have access to enough references that he wishes an unrest civil violent experiences for every country then he has a chance to learn about them…
“Who knew they cry too?” Have you ever heard about their previous cry thirty years ago? If you want to write about a nation, you need to learn more about them.
Yes, my friend, you were wrong about Iran, and you are surely wrong about a lot of things. The world is much bigger than the united fifty states.

To Go or Not To Go...

2009-06-18T11:17:00.000-07:00

To go or not go? that's my question.
I'm developing a horrible headache and I can't make my mind. Really, which way is better, to go or not to go?! What are we supposed to do? All our plans will ruin out; a lot of money which is not easy to save these days, will go out of our pocket; still I'm not sure whether postponing the program might help. I'm so disparate and disappointed from this situation. Going to the middle of a chaos doesn't seem to be a wise decision,on the other hand not going at all, might look like just a coward... then what about the project, dissertation, summer plans, everything...
Apparently this is going to be a very expensive summer for everybody...Everyone is paying his/her price...

Sad

2009-06-12T20:16:00.000-07:00

Some mistakes have high prices to be paid. Some mistakes have a price as big as a century of torture, some brings disappointment for a nation, and some of these disappointments may cause a nation to lose all their courage and eager. I’m so sad, so so sad. Cheating to a big nation, to millions of people, young and energetic people….I don’t think anybody has ever done such a big cheating; maybe that’s why there is no big, huge word for it, or I didn’t find it.

We vote...

2009-06-05T06:28:00.001-07:00

End of Revolution

2009-06-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

During the second and third years in middle school, which was just a few years after revolution, especially in school, they wanted to constrain come opinion to us. People like principle and the religious studies teacher would think they have a mission to lead us to heaven; they would consider themselves as missionaries who have a divine duty to work as an obstacle for not letting us go to, God forbidden, wrong ways. We simply didn’t have any rights to think, and we as students, couldn’t talk about some issues which were considered inappropriate for an Islamic administration. To make this happen, most of the time they wouldn’t let us talk at all. Since they were supposed to be our standard model, they should talk and act, we should just obey, this way we would become good obedient students…

The main characteristic of these missionaries ware jumping in the middle of any discussion! I remember they wouldn’t let us talk about our opinion, no matter what. They seemed always in a hurry to leave their own comments! they would definitely didn’t have any time for our gossips, they were so busy showing others what was good for their sake , that they didn’t have time to see what these people really wanted and where they wanted to be. Nobody could ask what if I don’t want to go to heaven! Was it really matter, after all? It was the principle or the religious study teacher who knew what was right and what was wrong, so what was the point to let us, young, thoughtless students talk about our ideas?!! Any time there came a brave (or maybe naïve) student started to talk about something forbidden; she would be stopped by those divine missionaries.

Now it has changed a lot. More than twenty years passed since that time and I guess everything has changed. Still there is a kind of strangulated environment being seen especially in the schools, but people are not that much under pressure of “Big Brother” in 1984. Now for presidential election, young boys and girls go to campaigns and shout from bottom of their heart to support their candidate. Nowadays people can talk about their needs and their wishes. It is just pity how some people still live in the era of twenty five years ago. They are waiting for some miracle to happen and save them from Big Brother! They are waiting to somebody come (most probably from somewhere far far away!) and with an instant revolution, save the day and they wake up one day and see everything is just fine! They still like to use that tune in their speeches like twenty five years ago and don’t let other people talk or give their opinions, if anybody is against their idea, should definitely be sick or mad or might have melancholy…
I'd like to blame all those stupid satellite programs for freezing human beings’ brains…

Busy mind

2009-05-31T18:22:00.000-07:00

I have so many things in my mind. Some times I think my brain might explode of not being able to manage all of them. Then I remember that human being has a lot of undiscovered capacities that each of them could save a world if it starts to work in a proper way. On the other hand, if it goes to the wrong direction, it might destroy everything for ever…
Now I want to save my mind from a “Big Bang”. I want to save my life from this desperation, and finally I want to save myself from an uncertainty forever. I want to be honest at least with myself, I want to be brave… but it’s so damn hard. Do I have enough courage for that?!

2009-05-19T11:11:00.000-07:00

I knew about the nostalgic aspects of some music, but I didn’t know one could actually bring tears to your eyes. I simply couldn’t continue listening to my favorite song of my favorite collection while I was working. It’s been more than a week since the last time I listened to it, and now I noticed how much that reminded me of hard days of doing SAS programming and trying to figure problems out. I felt all of them are gone and I realized at this age I can’t let them go all at once, because I’m not twenty years old any more. These nostalgic effects each remind me of few gray hairs in my head and some fine lines in my forehead. I simply can’t let it go because they brought me some permanent scars which are always with me.
BUT WHY? Oh I feel so tired…

Comments on Columbus and me

2009-05-18T11:35:00.001-07:00

I was just readying the previous post, I noticed a small point. It's not always about the change in environment. Sometimes you change to a new home but with old furniture. If it's just about the furniture and home, it's still OK; but if you want to improve, you need to MAKE the changes in yourself. Sometimes you even spend a lot of money but still feel the same old s.... I don't know but I feel the same old s...

Columbus and me

2009-05-08T06:39:00.000-07:00

When Christopher Columbus arrived in America, first he called the native people “Indian” because he assumed he had arrived in India. When he found out the truth, he was probably shocked and a little bit disappointed of himself. He might have even called himself “stupid” since he had gone to an exactly opposite direction … Or he might have become so proud of himself since he had discovered something new. He arrived in a new continent, and that was his goal…
Tomorrow is exactly five years since I arrived to the Columbus land… I didn’t come on a voyage, I wasn’t chocked by seeing the new place, and I wasn’t lost. But still I’m thinking about the reason that brought me here and kept me here. These two were quite different. Someone once told me that “immigration needs a good reason”. My reasons might have changed a little bit during the last five years, but still I can find something in common in all of them; looking forward for a better future. That’s a very simple one; also one might think that it has different meanings. Well, of course everybody is looking for a better future. But how many of them feel lost in their own home?! How many of them feel they had forgotten something called “I” for a long time?!
There are always some limitations in the progress. Some of these limitations won't let you become a dinosaur! If you are looking for more progress, you should change your environment. That seems the easiest way of going up…

2009-04-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

I’m furious. That means even if I’m in the death bed here, I won’t be able to see my mom beside me!? This is such a stupid reason that I don’t understand it. I’m thinking of some revenge, but that’s ridiculous, I’ll never be able to do such a thing. Nobody will allow me to do that and I know no ways to do so. It’s just something in my mind that makes me a little bit feel better. We might have some very good chances in our life, but in this case, we have got nothing… I think we should forget about it for a long time and not to talk about it any more. But is it really our faith? Is it supposed to be this way? Last time I thought it was faith, since it was our worst summer after all and I didn’t want to share it with anybody else, but this time I don’t know, maybe there is another bad luck coming up!!
I had started to think positive, to think there is some other positive energy that contributes to progress the part of events which are not in our hands. I had started to put the positive thought in my first priority,… But what about the negative responses out of the blue?!! Very soon, I should find some reasonable explanation for this bad luck, or it will kill me because I don't to believe in bad luck...

Boston marathon April 20th 2009

2009-04-20T11:27:00.000-07:00

2009 Marathon T-shirt

Fruit and water help runners

Lemonade stand, money goes for charity

challenge

2009-04-08T06:53:00.000-07:00

There are two rules in each challenge in the life:
Rule number one; Think positive.
Rule number two; Be ready for any negative response.

Busy life

2009-04-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

It’s like I’m doing an overhaul on myself. My entire calendar for March and April is marked for some different reasons; different doctor appointment, different meetings, and I have to mention that these are my busiest days since I’m a single mom during this time. I don’t know why I should arrange all these at this time! Yesterday I almost forgot my appointment with my dental hygienic. Sometimes I just get obsessed with my health issues and start doing check-up, then for a long time I forget that there exists something called “I”.

lucky or unlucky, this is the question...

2009-03-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

Probably just the moment that I need it so badly, I lose it; I’m talking about my energy, my positive energy, and all my influential energy that might affect the events. OK, I’m rambling, but I don’t know how to interpret this feeling, while I’m sure there is something in my feeling that I don’t like it. It just brings me some uneasy feelings that I feel something is going to happen, something that will regret later, if I could gather all my feelings and courage to send a kind of “long-distance energy” to whoever is causing this uneasiness to me, then I’d be all set; otherwise, it’s just the time that causes me all of my bad lucks in my life.
Still I feel I’m rambling. Since it’s a special feeling that doesn’t affect me all the time and I know I won’t be able to describe it later; not that I am describing it well right now, but still I’ve got some idea, then I might be able to look at this note later and do something before it’s late, I hope it works this way. Maybe this is the difference between those who are lucky and those who aren’t…After all, luck or chance is somehow our ability to use the opportunity, isn’t it. Could I be so clever to find the opportunities in right time and right place?

Nowruz Celebration, 1388

2009-03-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

I wasn't at all in the mood for celebrating the Nowruz. Some how, without knowing it, I had decided to come out of my "comfort-zone", to do something unusual, like not cleaning everywhere, and not even picking up the clothes which I'd brought from laundry last night, not having a Haft-Seen, and not caring about the time and the start of spring; leave it to come without worrying about it...
None of these where intentional, it just happened and I didn't try a bit to change the situation. Like if people ask you where you have been on the New Year’s Eve, I can explain that we went to pool and enjoyed a lot! Maybe this could be a new way of celebration that nobody had ever thought about it. Or forgetting to buy Samanoo, it just skipped out of my mind, and then we didn't have time to make a trip to Watertown, and there you go, simply we don't have it. The Sabzeh was another story which died in spite of all care I did for it. At least we have the fake Haft-Seen that Kiana made last weekend...
Any way, I always cared so much about this stuff and now I want to change my attitude, sometimes less care might be good for a change...It makes you more relaxed…
Happy Nowruz.

2009-03-12T11:06:00.000-07:00

I was thinking some people are so hard to work with. I don’t want to talk about the nationality; I’m talking about the “potential group working skills” maybe. I’m thinking about seeing just their own sides and not give a damn… about others, and I’m finally thinking about the messing up with others’ projects and not bother to give a simple regret! This is SO annoying…What does really go in their mind?! Does nationality really teach us some of these skills?! But these are “skills”, so it should be learned just by practice! I don’t know maybe we are all like this and not aware of that!

cultural differences

2009-03-10T12:12:00.001-07:00

Cultures are really different and amazing. I guess in some cultures, it’s just OK to jump in the middle of somebody else’s talk and start talking aloud!! These people are not able to say even one sentence without grammatical mistakes, but they are so confident and they never think that their problem might come from their lack of communication. Maybe they are right in some parts; they are in majority after all…
On the other hand, some nations don’t like to reveal their nationalities; they want others to think that they were born in the west, generation after generation. They don’t talk in their mother language in front of strangers and they actually encourage you to do the same!! Somehow their appearance is mistakable and they don’t start to talk unless they have to, and when somebody asks about their nationality they just answer in a stupid way…
Instead, you see some other people, who don’t pay a damn … what you are, they just talk the way they like it; it’s your problem that didn’t learn their language!

Tell me WHY

2009-03-09T11:09:00.001-07:00

Tell Me Why ?????? - For more funny movies, click here

2009-03-09T08:42:00.000-07:00

I'll be free for a while. I haven't been in prison so far, but I was so busy. Now at least for a few months I don't have anything special to do, and I guess it's a rare event after all. I should think what people might do to fill out their evenings and weekends! I don't remember when was the last time I had a relaxed weekend?! I used to watch movies or read a book, but it seems I feel guilty about doing that now! Maybe because I have been such a good girl and just studying for a long time!
But I'm not an idle person, I never was. I should figure that out, I have to find some schedule...

Disadvantage of technology

2009-02-18T11:53:00.000-08:00

Few nights ago while I was going to sleep, I remembered something to write about. I was going to get up and write it right away, but then I thought it was good for writing in the blog, I felt lazy to turn on the computer and wait for the pages to come up. On the other hand I didn’t want to ruin my sleep that much, so I left it for morning. It is obvious that I forgot it the next morning and just now I remembered that I was going to say something….!!
Now I even forgot what I was going to say…. It’s like an old funny story; I don’t know whether I should LOL or just blame myself of being such a forgetful…

Reading or Listening?

2009-02-04T07:49:00.000-08:00

Some people are not good book-readers. They just can’t go through all the pages one by one. They read a lot of books like instruction books or those that you don’t need to follow all the sections consequently. I correct myself; they are book readers, but not any kind of books. They are not patient enough to read a novel or a long story. They can find whatever they are looking for in a computer book, an instruction to fix a problem in telephone line, or how to be a good gardener. These people are better in reading newspapers and articles rather than books.
In contrast, there are story-readers. They consider all the life as a story; they are very good in reading a novel or a long story. They never think it is a waste of time; instead, they believe they can learn a lot from a book rather than a movie. The process of movie seems to be so fast for them to catch up with, but the book with all the details will be saved in their mind. Sometimes they even live with the character of the books in their fantasies. An article might be boring for them since there is no story behind it.
I’m not talking about any preferences between these two groups; I was just thinking, so bad that a lot of people are in neither of these two, they are simply just TV-watchers and they haven’t gotten any share from the Gutenberg Galaxy.

nostalgia

2009-01-07T08:51:00.000-08:00

It's very strange. A month ago I was begging for the nightmares to be done and now I feel I MISS THEM!! Yeah, simply I miss all of them, all the hard assignments and all the confusions during last 3 months!! I think I'm somehow sick or something, how come I might want those days back? I just survived them and now listening to this Chris de Burgh songs that I would listen most of the days to remove confusion from my mind while I was doing my assignment, nustalgia took me to those days again and surprisingly it didn't bother me at all... soon I was thinking to send the "horrible teacher" an email and see maybe I could audit her class this semester!! Then I told myself, "are you crazy?"
I don't know maybe I am.

2009

2009-01-05T06:48:00.000-08:00

Today is officially the first day of working in 2009. Even though I'd been working somehow during last week, but most of people came back to work today. I don't know why but I didn't have any courage to come to work today. Is it because of the economy? Is it because we don't know what will happen tomorrow? Is it because I still have some unfinished tasks from last year? Is it because I don't know really what I want to do or what I want to be? ... Whatever reason it has I know that I'm not fresh at all and I don't have any energy. I don't want to go home either. I'm just not in a mood, that's it.

Win,Win?

2008-12-12T08:03:00.000-08:00

It was definitely not a win-win situation. I don't know what to call it, what was exactly the purpose of this meeting? I already knew what they told me, so what? I have this feeling that somehow the order of the meeting had changed, when? I don't know but apparently one of these days, might be even today before I arrived. I don't want to be skeptical but the meeting didn't get started the way that was expected from last emails. Any way, doesn't matter now. I just had this feeling that they had something else to say but eventually refused. What was really that? Did I have any better choices that they wanted to me to ask for it and I wasn't aware of that? Did I have to change the situation to a better way?
Doesn't matter now, it's all over and I need my energy for the last step to be done. It's going to be less than a week from now.
Before that I need some privacy...

2008-12-09T10:00:00.000-08:00

I'm going to collect all my courage, wills and efforts for rest of this way. I need them all and shouldn't fail it. I read somewhere that chance is pretty much related to our positive energy in facing the events to solve them. I need all of my positiveness now. If I fail this challenge I might never forgive myself. Just three last steps, that's it. Then I can take it easy...

Desparate

2008-12-02T12:36:00.000-08:00

2008-12-01T19:09:00.000-08:00

THERE IS ALWAYS A FATE BEHIND ANY MISFORTUNE.

2008-11-27T22:26:00.000-08:00

Just whenever somebody asks you about what you are and what you are doing there is a little doubt in the back of your mind that makes your voice shake a little bit and you think for a second that what you actually are and why you are still not sure. Is that because you have been a coward in all your life or is it just a misjudgment of yourself and that means you don't even know yourself? Why do you always failed in your big exams in your life? In all the big challenging tests in your life? In all the important process in the life that rally mattered to you? In all those times that you would think you should be good; no, you were supposed to be perfect, you were expected to be excellent... but then all of a sudden it turned out that you are just a loser...just a loser...a loser...Now what are you gonna do?
I always hated this minute of decision...

2008-11-18T11:16:00.000-08:00

When I was in the first year of high school we had a course that if I want to translate it to English it was "Social knowledge", but it definitely was different from social studies in American schools. I didn’t have any idea what they were teaching us and why they were teaching it! Still I don't know exactly what was the curriculum of that course and its benefits. Before starting the high school I had heard from older people that this course is a very smooth and easy going one and I shouldn’t be worry about it. We had a teacher whose last name was the same as my best friend’s (just by accident) and maybe because of that she felt sort of kindness to my friend even though nobody not even my friend liked her. Any way, this lady teacher of us apparently didn’t like my presence in the class and every week that she wanted to review last lecture, she made me stood by the class and would ask some questions out of the blue that might not even be related to the lecture, then after she would hear my answers, she would say:” Are you making that up?”!! I wasn’t a bad student, actually I was doing great in some other courses like physics and algebra but in her class everybody felt pity for me even those lazy student who wanted to see some nerds like me insulted, every body would ask me before class, whether I was ready for the interrogation!
That class was always a nightmare for me from the beginning to end and I just wanted it to be done, I wanted the whole year to be done because of that course and I wanted to be sick on the day of that course then I wouldn’t be insulted in front of whole class.
Now I haven’t being insulted in front of every body, nobody has asked me question out of the blue, and I’m not a teenager who decides with her heart more than her mind, I have chosen my courses without any pressure from anybody or any where and I am absolutely aware that I could just leave everything and quit because I DON’T HAVE to do it, I started it because I liked it and I wanted it. It was two months ago that I felt so good about taking challenging classes and using my brain more than before and the fact that I was learning; now I want this nightmare to be done, I want it just done because I feel so tired about everything specially about the fact that my little daughter is counting down the days and nights till my courses will be done and she can get her mom back…

Live for today

2008-11-12T09:50:00.000-08:00

Lets all remember to take the time to LIVE.
We don’t really know how much time we have to live. Someone was saying that his friend had found a silk paper wrapped package of a new dress in his wife’s drawer before going to her funeral. She had bought that 8-9 years ago and saved it for a special occasion to wear it. She had never put it on!
Never wait for a special occasion. Everyday in your life is a special occasion. Spend more time with your family and less at work, read more and clean less. Life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. Use crystal glasses everyday, wear new clothes to go to the supermarket if you feel like it, use your special perfume whenever you want to.
Each day, each hour, each minute is special. Live for today, tomorrow is a promise to no-one.

change

2008-11-06T06:15:00.001-08:00

Halloween

2008-10-31T11:00:00.000-07:00

Halloween (Hallow's Eve) is probably one of the most exciting entertainments of year especially for kids and young people in the United States. This tradition(which is not really a holiday) is being held in the last day of October based on an Irish superstition who believe that ghosts come down to earth in this night to take more souls with them so people will dress up in weird and mostly scary costumes then the ghosts won't recognize them. This tradition came to America by Irish immigrants in mid 1800s. But the idea of Jack-0-Lantern is something else...If you are interested in knowing more about it, this short video might help.
http://www.bu.edu/today/node/7745

miracle

2008-10-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

God help me. I have a lot of things to do specially during next 3 weeks and I don't know what to do about them; three different projects that each one will be enough to knock me out. I feel I’m losing my self esteem about finishing them. One of them is a big test that no matter what but I’ve never been good in these kinds of tests, never in my life and this time I’m in a situation that if I don’t pass it well I’ll probably lose my whole confidence for rest of my projects.
The second one is going to become a pain in the … since as the time passes I feel more confusion about it. Last but not least is the one that I was scared of from the very beginning but it turned out that is going to be the smoothest hopefully, but still needs a lot of work since it has an oral presentation at the end and I’m not sure about that…
I guess I need a miracle. God will help me.

The best poem

2008-09-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

This poem was nominated by UN as the best poem of 2006, Written by an
African Kid

When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray

And you calling me colored?

Seven secrets about fruits

2008-08-21T06:54:00.000-07:00

I had one of these forwarded emails that come after hundreds of FWs with lots of addresses in the mailing list; it was about the beneficiary of fruits.
I thought I could share a little bit of it here since it might be helpful:
1- Fruit should be taken in an empty stomach not as a dessert after the meal.
2- Fruit digests faster than other foods so if we use it after meal its passage is blocked by the meal that takes longer to digest.
3- Taking fruit in an empty stomach will prevent from burp or running to the toilet etc.
4- Graying hair, balding, nervous outburst, dark circles under the eyes all these will not happen if you take fruit in an empty stomach.
5- Eating the pulp or whole fruit in far better than drinking the juice. If you want to drink juice, drink it mouthful by mouthful slowly to let it mix with your saliva.
6- A 3-day “fruit fast” is a very simple and effective way to cleanse and detoxify your body.
7- The correct way of eating fruits is the secret of beauty, longevity, health, energy, happiness and normal weight.

TV

2008-08-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

“Mom pleeeeease…just 5 more minutes…”
The way she starts begging for a few more minutes watching TV just makes me mad more than ever. It brings me a bitter itching to the back of my throat and I think it will never go away. Sometimes I just forget that she is just a kid. I expect her to be the perfect and when she is not, it’s just annoying.
Oh god, I hate summer vacation. When is it going to be done? My mom used to pray during the last weeks of summer for it to be gone soon. She used to say when you go back to school; life goes back to a normal routine.

If you love somebody, send her(him) a letter

2008-08-14T09:28:00.000-07:00

A note

2008-08-04T10:22:00.000-07:00

Some people see the world and whatever in it as a bill. Doesn’t matter what kind of bill, it just needs to be a bill, a US dollar bill, Canadian dollar bill, Euro, or even a 5000 tomans bill. ... I like my job for what it is, not for the income it gives me; I like my car because it gives me a ride, not because of its price, I like my apartment because it’s cozy and comfortable and I feel at HOME when I’m there, not because of the amount it costs, I like my furniture and all of the stuff we have at home, because they make life easier for me not because I have paid for them; when I go to a trip I go for my heart and my soul to get comfort and I hate to think about the money I have paid for my trip, it just takes all the joy of the trip out of me. When I have some guests over I love to enjoy my moments and hope they enjoy as well, I HATE to think about the money I have spent for preparation of the party. If money wants to change my attitude, I never want it; I prefer to be in absolute poverty.

Back Home

2008-08-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

I'm back. It was so exciting going, and sad when we had to come back. Now after five days I think I am starting to go back to normal life with all the chores and responsibilities. Now I feel good and can feel the sweet taste of being with family and friends for three weeks and enjoy. Even Kiana is talking about making another trip. Seems like she really enjoyed it. It's a long and expensive trip but it worth it all in every chance we find.

2008-06-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

I wish I could use these exciting days in the best way. I'm so excited to go back home after more than four year and I can't wait for that. On the other hand since as a rule of thumb in my life, everything is supposed to happen in the last minute, I'm so busy these days that I can't think about three weeks later. I think the desirable feeling of such exciting days will never come back, but as always I have a test, I have to work and I have to study these stupid issues which I doubt even work out as a successful summer course!!

just a short note!

2008-06-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you get to the point that you think won't be able to continue any more. Whenever you work harder, they will expect more from you; if you don't make it serious, you will be in another trouble!
I'm trying to think that I don't have any problem with anybody at all, but I can't close my eyes and not to see any thing... It's hard to believe how people change...

Arian & Chris de Burgh

2008-05-30T09:46:00.001-07:00

Coincidence!

2008-05-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

When the phone-calls started and everybody wanted to know if we have been in the train crash this afternoon or not, all I was thinking was that Syamak took the car and also he had left long after the crash, but still I wanted to make sure that he is OK since he left his cell at home for the first time…
Just now I thought that if I hadn’t missed the rout 10 bus this afternoon and I would go to Copley Square to buy Webkinz, then I might be in that train!! It happened shortly before 6 pm and I arrived home at 5pm. It was obvious to waste one hour in Copley and then take the train!
Any way, the first one who thought it this way was Syamak, and not even me… isn’t it cool?
This small accident is not comparable to September 11, but just as a coincidence I thought many people who survived in that day were because of some small things that happened to them, like the first day of kindergarten for one person’s child or wearing a new shoes and end up with some sore that made the person to stop at the pharmacy to buy a band aid… On the other hand there were thousands of people who might be somewhere else in that moment but they were in the wrong place and at a wrong time just for once in their life… Accidents never announce before happening.

2008-05-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

I feel like a wrecked ship! I am so tired and all confused about my last night test. That was the most horrible thing I’d ever seen. I just couldn't figure out why they decided to plan such an awful test. It could be called a home take project and take us at least a good whole week to work on that and during that time we would send tens of emails to instructors and TA and still won’t be sure if it was OK or not. How in earth they thought it could be a one-time sit exam and finish it in three hours?! Actually it took us more than four hours but still wasn’t finished! After test everybody was like those who got an electric shock! Last night I couldn’t sleep well and all the night I was analyzing data in my dreams!
Now with what that happened last night I don’t know what to feel about today. I don’t have any energy left… Before that I was afraid of today’s test and studied whole weekend for today, now I’m not sure if I remember any of those things that I studied…

A thankful heart

2008-04-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

The French magazine “Le magazine des voyages de pêche” in its 56th edition brought up amazing news: An astonishing love story;
“ Arnold Pointer a professional fisherman from south of Australia set free from a certain death a big female White Shark that was caught in his fishing nets. Now the fisherman has a problem:” It’s been 2 years and she doesn’t leave me alone. She follows me everywhere I go and her presence scares all the fish. I don’t know what to do.”
It’s hard to get rid of an almost 17 feet long shark since the White Sharks are protected by the wild life conservation, but a mutual affection established between Arnold and “Cindy”. Arnold says: “Once I stop the boat she comes to me, she turns on her back and let me pet her belly and neck, she grunts, turn her eyes, and move her fins up and down hitting the water happily.”

special days

2008-04-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

Some days are special and memorable. Like the day of marriage, or having a baby, or graduation... Some memories are good some are bad, I'll never forget about the day that my dad left us; some are just memories and you don't know how to explain them like the day you enter a foreign country that is going to be your HOME without even you know it; and the day you've done the interview for being an immigrant and the officer tells you: "Congratulations you are granted..."
Forth of April is going to be a special one for me, forever...

No privacy

2008-03-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

In the era of technology and using computer and Internet in every single part of life, and accessibility of these for almost everybody, even writing diaries for your own sake is not going to be private any more. So, mind your diaries if you think about getting a job in future or getting married or even if you think one day you might be a governor… Everything you publish today might be used against you later!
This reminds me of “1984” by “George Orwell”…everything was under control, there was no privacy, and everybody was obsessed by “self-censorship”…
By the way, is there a place to burry our private life without anybody else knowing about that?!

Happy Nowruz

2008-03-20T06:07:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year to all Iranian people around the world. This morning the Haft_sin table in the White House was such a nice surprise to me. It's almost including everything in a traditional Persian way.
I wish a prosperous, peaceful and joyful year for everybody.
last year just before new year I got a letter that made me so excited for starting the year. This year started with the memory of that "news" and knowing that eventually everything is going to be done soon...

A Beautiful Mind

2008-03-12T15:49:00.001-07:00

If you haven't watched Forrest Gump watch this. It's amazing. I think everybody has a talent, it's so important to find it.

Persepolis

2008-02-26T06:18:00.001-08:00

This week in our literary group we had a discussion about two movies, “300” and “Alexander”. While I don’t believe any of these two, and also I think specially “300” was just a worthless show that the producers purposely made the chaos to bring it up to one of the best sellers, and despite the fact that these all past long time ago, at least 2500 years ago; but I think we shouldn’t change the history for our own good. Right now Iran is not the greatest emperor in that region any more and Persepolis is not the only place under the sun. Also Greece is a small country in Europe and Greek people are not the bravest ones, even though Alexander might not be Greek but Macedonian. So maybe it doesn’t matter what we were and what we did in the past, but still this is part of the vision and might worth to look at:

The best place in the world

2008-02-20T11:05:00.000-08:00

I read the “Kite Runner” last week. After that I thought a lot about what went to Afghan people during the last 3 decades. As one of their neighbors that know mostly their language, I have seen a lot of their refugees in my country and maybe the vast majority of them. During the years that we would see them every where in our home town, nobody knew about their stories and about their jobs back to their home. They would do any cheap job to survive them and their family. Some people even would think they have been born to be labors!...
Kite Runner should really be read by all the Afghanistan’s neighbors specifically. It’s the story of people who loved their country, their friends, their ceremonies and everything that made them really Afghan, even though that wasn’t the best place in the world to live… Today I received an album of pictures from Tehran. I always said to my friends that whatever I miss from my country is not the street and town and jammed traffic; I just miss my family and friends. Today I felt really Home Sick. I felt I have missed every thing even the crowded Bazaar of Tehran, even the Fruit shopping center near my home and even the underground …No matter what they do to my country, it’s still my Home Town.
By the way where is the best place in the world to live?!

Super Bowl

2008-02-03T20:32:00.000-08:00

Super Bowl is one of the most important events in the US. It’s the final game of American football leagues (National Football League) and it’s usually around February. I said “American Football” because I think most countries use the word “football” for “soccer” and as it’s said in wikipedia Football is the name given to a number of different sports. The most popular of these sports world-wide is known as soccer. The word is also applied to "Gridiron football" which includes “American football” and “Canadian football”.
Tonight was the Super Bowl-42 and for the first time I followed it from beginning up to end. During the years in Florida despite the fact that we were in a town with the most football fans (Gators), I never got a chance to watch a game step by step since the marginal events in the town was always more interesting than the game itself and besides we never had a chance to find a ticket for a game. Tonight for the first time during these years I learned “a little bit” about the rules of the game and I could say what’s going on. It’s really a tough game and compare to soccer I won’t call it a “sport” and I didn’t even know why it’s called football since their feet barely touches the ball.
The most significant point about this American game is that they are quite slow games. The time that goes on in a football game is about one forth of the time that the game has stopped. A complete game contains 4 times 15 minutes but the game with inauguration and ending ceremony was around 5.5 hours. That’s I think quite match with American culture that they don’t like to rush any process and they like to enjoy their life even in an event like this. I heard the most expensive TV commercials are in the middle of the super bowl games. In Gainesville we would see people come from other states for a game with their travel trailers and stayed around the UF for the whole weekend but in the day of game maybe they wouldn’t even go to watch the game and they would just watch it though their small TVs beside their barbecue set and enjoyed the humid weather outside and would chat to their neighbor ( of course another travel trailer) about the progress of their team. Maybe they were just there to back up the fans in case their team was the winner and they needed to celebrate it!
From the beginning of last week, BU had invited all the students to a free food and free ice skating to its best ice skating rink and watching the game from the big screen TV and also the promise of pancakes for breakfast if the New England Patriots would win! But as Kiana said in the middle of first 15 minutes, unfortunately there won’t be any pancakes….

Writing in English

2008-01-29T07:52:00.000-08:00

My first few months experience of learning language in the US was a good one. I should say it was not only a class but also a community of people that I still keep in touch with some of them. It gave me a good opportunity of how to think and talk and especially how to write in English. We had our own weekly newspaper that was easier than daily papers to read. One of the useful parts in the class that was “a pain in the neck” at that time, was “writing weekly journals” which I should confess nobody would do that regularly because we couldn’t find interesting topics for them. Most of the topics were about the problems that we faced regarding our lives in a different country or an interesting experience. Some would write about a special ceremony or an event in their own country or their own special habits that they found them different to others.
Once I wrote a journal about the difference in weekends in Middle East and the Western countries and our teacher sent it to the newspaper’s editor. Few months later that I wasn’t in that class any more, my journal was published in that paper and I received a check for that! That was my first payment for writing. Even though the amount of money was small but it was really exciting to get it. For me it valued ten times of what it was, it reminded me of those days and what I learned. Still sometimes I miss those days.

Don't be picky!

2008-01-24T08:19:00.000-08:00

One of my classes this semester is not that much exciting. I thing I will have more of these from now on but this one is just so boring and every time I just start to yawning and don’t know how to concentrate. Today I decided that I had made just something up and ever since I thought this was not the right course for me I tried to make nonsense excuses for slides, for course info and… I think the teacher is not that much sophisticated but still should be OK.
Be reasonable, don’t be picky! And most of all don’t think all the classes are supposed to be interesting and exciting.

Different Cultures

2008-01-11T09:41:00.000-08:00

One of the concerns of an immigrant family like mine in a strange environment is difference in cultures and how we treat our children. The way we teach them how to be polite, how to be nice, how to be happy, how to be respectful to others and how to be successful and progressive in their life. It might be unfair to call it a strange environment after these years and after my daughter started school in this environment but as the time passes by these differences show up more and more and it seems they get bigger and bigger. I have no idea how big it’s going to get but as far as concerns about growing up the child never disappear for parents, it’s always there.
When I was the same age that my daughter is right now, I lived in a small town in west of Iran and as far as my parents' concern about my education; I attended to a semi-private school that most of my classmates were from some upscale families. We were a middle class family and that seemed the best option at that time that we could afford it because the public school system in our area wasn’t good enough. Some of my classmates spent their summer vacations in Europe and USA and they had some kind of toys in their play room that I never could even think about them. Even though the money was a little bit of problem at that time but the main issue for my family was “the idea of having everything you wish” and that was the thing that my parents treated us against it. We could afford buying bicycles but since our neighbor couldn’t afford that for his children, my parents didn’t buy me and my brother a bike, until our neighbor bought two second hand bicycles for his kids, then my father bought us the one that we wanted.
When we came to Boston area to search for a place to live, our main concern was school system. This idea pushed us to a community of I should say nice and middle class American families but their middle class style is totally different to our “Middle Eastern middle class style” and God bless them, their children will get what ever they wish for and parents are ready to pay them big penalties for every mistake they do. Again I think it’s not just money but the idea of “having every thing you wish” is completely against my culture because as she grows up more, her needs will get bigger and bigger. Now is special out fit, a CD or a Webkinz; next year will be more and more and….
It’s getting my daughter’s every day dreams that we do something or live some how to be like them, have a house like them, have a pet like them or have so many stuff like them.
Today I decided my mom was very wise and she could manage these situations much better than me. How could I be like her? I miss her so much….

Bill Gates last day at Microsoft - CES 2008

2008-01-09T07:35:00.001-08:00

Power of 10

2008-01-08T07:32:00.000-08:00

This is so cool...
http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/primer/java/scienceopticsu/powersof10/index.html

school fish

2008-01-06T10:05:00.000-08:00

Sometimes your plans change without even you aware of that. I had thought of a lot of things to do this morning and I wanted to finish them on time then we would have time to go to practice our ice skating skills and I’d go to MIT meeting afterward. But….while we were eating breakfast the sharp eyes of my sweetheart found some “baby fish” in the aquarium! I don’t even know when they were born but as far as saving them, our previous experience showed that they should be separated from the big ones unless they would be eaten.
After discussion about the ways that we could separate them, we decided to put a glassware inside the aquarium and put the babies in it. In spit the fact that they were really sneaky still we captured 12 tiny fish and released them in the glassware. Now we have a “school fish” in our aquarium and it’s exciting. I’m just not sure we have enough room for all of them if they all survive…

Fast Food

2008-01-04T08:29:00.001-08:00

While I was eating my lunch, I was thinking of what people eat especially when they are out or at work. Even though it’s called “fast food” but sometimes it’s not really fast; not only for the way it’s being made but also the time and situation you have to eat it.
My Korean neighbor makes everything wrapped in seaweed and calls it “Sushi”; it could be a scramble egg, some vegetables, fish, shrimp, crab, pork or anything else. So it’s not necessary to put all of them in your sushi. Just you take a layer of seaweed and spread some sticky rice on top, then add your desired topping and roll it. Interesting, isn’t it? People always think sushi should be eaten in an Eastern environment restaurant but since my neighbor showed me how it’s been made I found that it’s easier than we think. They say this is kind of fast food in Eastern Asia so you can take it out and serve it cold wherever you want.
Italian people prefer to stick their toppings on a layer of dough with melted cheese and make a “pizza” which is really popular around the world. I personally love the smell of melted cheese… Recently an Iranian chief made a new invention by using a very popular traditional Persian stew and made it as a pizza and he won the third prize in “Olympiad of Pizza” in Italy!
In west Europe and America take out “sandwich” is so popular. I remember once I heard a story about history of sandwich which goes back to 18th century and this name is after “4th Earl of Sandwich” who was really fond of this kind of food because it allowed him to eat while he was playing card! The form of sandwich in these countries is mostly like two pieces of toast holding ingredients between them.
In Middle East people mostly use thin bread to make their own sandwich and its shape looks like taco.
I believe Turkish people have the best food ever. Around the lunch time if you walk in Isteghlal Street in Istanbul, smell of food is irresistible… They have different shapes and tastes of fast foods that I can’t explain them and you will find them very cheap with best quality.

Happy New Year

2007-12-31T18:11:00.000-08:00

One thing different about the new year in my country compare to most other countries is not to go out. We used to stay at home at the time that new year starts and people strongly believe that they should be AT HOME with their own family while the new year is coming. I don’t want to go the point that new year starts there in different hours every year but the celebration of it is totally different.
This is the 4th new year of me in the US and is the 3rd one that we go out late night to stay in a big community of people and celebrate till next year!
So, good bye home… I’ll see you next year…

Vacation

2007-12-26T19:43:00.001-08:00

Sometimes the best thing to do is absolutely nothing! I don’t know why I was so tired of everything and I really needed a vacation. Even though I had just one course and my job was the normal job like always but I really felt I needed this holiday. I used to think these kind of vacations are kind of boring and I wanted them to end up as soon as possible. Maybe I’m getting old. Still I feel a little guilty about waking up late and not having a schedule for life, but this time I decided to just relax and not to think about tomorrow. My brain needed it….

Thanksgiving

2007-11-21T15:38:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is a family gathering for American families. In Wikipedia we learn that "Thanksgiving is a traditional North American holiday to give thanks at the conclusion of the harvest season. Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November in the United States and on the second Monday of October in Canada". The history of this event goes back to 1619 which was held for the first time at Barkeley Plantation in Virginia (where the first permanent settlement of the colony of Virginia was established on May 14, 1607) and then in 1621 at Plymouth in Massachusetts.
The first official Thanksgiving Proclamation was issued in 1977. After 1815 there were no more Thanksgiving Proclamations until the presidency of Abraham Lincoln who made two during the Civil War. President Lincoln declared Thanksgiving a Federal Holiday as a "prayerful day of Thanksgiving" on the last Thursday of November.
Traditional thanksgiving meals are usually turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, corn, turnips, rolls, pecan pie and pumpkin pie.
The day after Thanksgiving is called "black Friday" and is the day that Christmas shopping officially starts. There are a lot of sales in this day and people usually find good deals for their Christmas stuffs. Of course going to mall and finding a parking lot in this day is a nightmare…

image:"The First Thanksgiving", painted by Jean Leon Gerome Ferris (1863–1930)

Where is the most sedentary city of the United States?

2007-10-29T19:08:00.000-07:00

I think most people in answer would say one the harbor cities or one of the most tourist attractive ones.
Today in Ferbos.com you could see an article which introduced Memphis as the most sedentary city in the America. The writers have used 3 index of BMI (body mass index), physical activity and TV watching and they have basically used the 2006 data from CDC (Center for Disease Control) for 50 largest metropolitan areas. Then they ranked these cities based on each category and added the three for a final score.
Memphis (TN) turned out to be the most sedentary city in terms of all three scores. Although 65% of population overweight or obese is slightly behind the national rate of 66%, but 30 percent of residents neglect to exercise regularly and 41 hours of TV watching per week compare to national average of 30 hours.
Next three cities were New Orleans (LA), LasVegas (NV) and Detroit (MI).
Wow… 41 hours of watching TV per week!! It’s almost 6 hours per day! When do they go to work? I simply can not imagine being such a couch potato…

Matt Lauer in Tehran

2007-10-24T18:06:00.001-07:00

Stereotype 2

2007-10-24T17:34:00.000-07:00

Jack has left a comment on “stereotype” that I thought it’s important to answer it and it shouldn’t be hidden in the comment. Maybe I should explain these before:
Jack,
I am flattered you raised those questions and honestly I never considered you as an ignorant fool and will never do that. This is just as I said in the title, a stereotype about another nation and country. Believing or not you just made me surprised by your questions. During these three and half years leaving in different parts of this country I’ve met Chinese people more than other foreigners and I think that’s obvious, many people had asked me those kind of questions before but you were the first Chinese ! Any how, stereotype is not something related to you or other individuals; it’s because of wrong beliefs that mostly come from propaganda and media. The same goes about Iranian stereotypes about Americans and I might be able to bring it up later. I found you a knowledgeable person who read books about this issue. I’ve met many people who would think Iran is a desert in neighborhood of Saudi Arabia, men are like Taliban with long beard and women can’t go any where without their husband or brother…. I’ve met people who would think in Iran there is no university, people who would think Iran is a deadly hot place without rain and snow….I never said you are like those people and I never thought they were fool as well. As I said it’s a stereotype and it mostly has grown during the last 30 years. I really am sorry if I made you feel bad but it might be also because of my weakness in writing skill that I couldn’t explain it well.

Yahoo deleted Iran!!

2007-10-22T11:26:00.000-07:00

http://helloyahoo.net/

2007-09-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

I've got a weird feeling. Everybody is talking about the president in New York City. It's one of the most important news these days. These people can't read Persian blogs and news, if they could they would probably have more sympathy with me. I think people like me in this situation wish he doesn't say anything new! I personally wish he would get a grip and couldn't talk at all. Nobody could ever ruin a nation this fast...

Stereotype

2007-09-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

The guy was originally from China but was raised in the US. He came to fix my computer and when he found that I came from Middle East started to ask some questions. I wasn’t shocked by his stereotypy about life in Iran. Now I’m getting used to it and ready to hear any thing strange about life in Middle East. He would think people in Iran are observed every where in public and in private, he would think other nations can’t go to Iran as tourists, and not many Iranians come over here …
I told him that Hijab is not concern of women in Iran; I told him that people have big parties without being observed …
At the end I wished I’d had enough power and money to take all these people for a trip and show them what we have there and why we are concerned about them being disturbed by some stupid and irresponsible government.
This reminds me of an Iranian poet (Shamloo) whose poems I really loved. Translation of one of them is:
I wish I could drain all the blood in my body then they would believe me….
I wish I could take these people on my shoulder and they see with their own eyes and would believe me…

Duck Tour

2007-09-18T09:12:00.001-07:00

Without a doubt one of the best ways to see a city and learn about its history is taking a tour around it. After one year living in Boston area, we found an opportunity to take the Duck Tour and see around. It’s a unique experience to go around the city in a car and continue in water in the same vehicle. I haven’t heard about it anywhere else. It’s fantastic.
The tour is around 90 minutes and starts at Copley square and go through downtown area, all the old fashion shops at Beacon Hill, first post office and first everything in the US…, then to Boston public garden and Boston common, to North end and finally going through water in Charles River. Once in a while your leader reminds you that you are the duck and need to say"Quack,Quack"
Just remember to check for the weather and don’t chose a cold and rainy day for this tour like me…

Memory of a tragedy

2007-09-11T10:39:00.000-07:00

Six years ago thousands of people in New York City said their good-bye to their family and left to work like the other days. No body knew this was their last good-bye. Lucky those who where sick and didn’t show up to their jobs.
When our TV announced the disaster in evening news back to my home, we were all shocked. What the hell?! No body knew what was going on. The first time that they showed the film of accident there was no description about it. Still after 6 years there is no description for this stupidity that buried so many people in their offices.
I remember the night after that people went to streets late night and walked with their candles on in silence for the people who died innocence. Without a doubt September 11 was a disaster for all the third millennium.

Transportation

2007-09-10T07:28:00.000-07:00

I understand that living in a big city has its own pros and cons. One of the most important problems that face us everyday is transportation. The MBTA decided to do some maintenances on Green line D during summer. For 3 months or so part of this line was closed and we had to take the shuttle bus for part of our trip and again take the train. The MBTA had said the maintenance will make the T faster afterward. I don't know what other people experience but I use this line everyday for a long distance. My trip took 30 minutes before this maintenance and now after renovation takes 29 minutes!! During the summer I had to add at least 30 minutes to each trip I had with this line! I think if I want to use the faster facility in this way it will take years till we get equal.

History of Persian Philanthropy

2007-08-30T07:02:00.001-07:00

South End of Boston is safe

2007-08-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

I remember when I worked for Welfare Organization in south of Tehran three cases of cancers were found in a period of 6 months which were somehow similar and two of them were malignant and ended up to death in less than a year. Our center was not a research laboratory center and we didn't carry out any bio hazard wastes but these accidents made me thinking about possibility of kind of pollutant sources. There was not any mechanism to follow up that situation and find out whether or not there was such a source.
Recently it's been a concern about the possibility of pollutants around south of Boston because of BU Medical Campus. Today in BU TODAY we read that a new study of the potential health and safety risks of siting the National Emerging Infectious Diseases Laboratories (NEIDL) in Boston’s South End has found that the current Albany Street location is as safe as, or safer than, suburban or rural alternatives.
I don't know about the reliability of this conclusion but at least I respect to the "ears" that listened to this concern.

Persian temple in India

2007-08-20T08:22:00.000-07:00

An Indian woman visits a temple on the Parsi New Year in Mumbai. Parsis are descended from Persian Zoroastrians.
source:BBC

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

2007-08-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2 Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever Your home is your refuge .

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Cell phone soaked in the water

2007-08-14T11:15:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought what you can do if your cell phone falls in the water by accident? I read somewhere about one of the Washington Post journalists who had this experience. I don’t know how true it is but it probably worth to try it in this situation. Even though he takes the battery out and tries to dry the phone by hairdryer the phone stays dead. So he asks one of his expert friends and it turns out that he puts the phone in a bowl of row rice! After 24 hours cell phone works perfect!

Space Field Trip

2007-08-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

The space shuttle Endeavour and its 7 member crew lifted of at 6:36 pm yesterday from NASA’s Kennedy Space Center in Florida. Among these seven members is Barbara Morgan an Idaho school teacher and back up for Framingham native Christa McAuliffe who was killed when the space shuttle Challenger broke up 74 seconds after launch in January 1986.
Barbara has been in a lot of field trips with her students before but this is her first space field trip.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/08/070808210714.htm
http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=1016182

Pet

2007-08-08T11:32:00.000-07:00

Keeping animals (pet) in the house is very popular among Americans. Based on a report from Human Society of the United States in 2005-06 there are approximately 73 million owned dogs in the US and 39 percent of US households own at least one dog. I know a lady in Florida who has 36 dogs and cats in her house! Some apartment owners (like ours) don’t let you to keep pet in their building so it’s been a very good excuse so far for us that my sweetheart kept begging for a dog for a long time. Finally we decided to have an aquarium with tropical fish. It was a very good choice since it’s nice and it won’t bring any allergy to our house and also the constant sound of water from the filter has become part of our life like a small stream. Unfortunately the probability of dying a fish is much more than a dog or cat. Even though you take good care of them everyday, still you don’t know what the problem is until you find it on top of the water and it’s a sad moment. Today we found two of them dead before we hear anything about their problems. I wish they could tell us, I wish they could call for help....

Lessons in Logic

2007-08-08T09:48:00.000-07:00

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?
........................................................................
Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
........................................................................
Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
........................................................................
"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk
........................................................................
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say........

T disaster

2007-08-06T14:49:00.000-07:00

Some days like today MBTA is a complete disaster. They were supposed to fix the Green line D and I would guess that it would go back to normal situation from today but there it was another project again. They closed the T now from Reservoir to Fen way...It's ridiculous, I had to change 3 times train,bus and again train!! I'm going to try Green C tomorrow from Reservoir. It should be straight forward at least.
People from other countries might think that here everything is high tech and fast and blah,blah,....But believe me I'm talking about the oldest train system in the US which was made in 1950s. I understand that it takes time to fix the rails and do maintenance and change some parts to make it faster but what about the bus no 1 or CT1?! Who is responsible for people who stayed about 30 minutes in Mass Ave this morning for a bus to take them to south?

Life is Beautiful

2007-08-02T08:51:00.000-07:00

It was almost 2 months ago in a sunny morning in Boston that we had that appointment with the first lawyer in our whole life. Maybe not the first because we signed the documents of the apartment that wanted to but back to few years ago in the office of a lawyer but I don’t count that as a consultation because the lawyer was just a friend and we wanted to make sure all the documents were correct. We have always been so obsessive in our life and I always thought whoever is obsessive and do the right thing like it is said in the law, won’t need a lawyer. I always would think whoever goes to lawyer even if (s)he hasn’t done any violation, is the one who needs to somehow circle the law or has done something not quit common. I’d never think that something so stupid and not exactly in my hands would lead me to attorney and make me ask for help. Maybe not quit help but at least ask for some advice.
It was in that sunny morning in south Boston that I felt really desperate and I wanted to hit something or somebody who made this mistake and put me in a position which might end to apart my whole life.
After we left the lawyer’s office we decided to walk a little bit to clear our mind and think what we can do with the problem. I don’t remember how long we just walk around the streets in down town I just know we finally ended up at Boston Common and I decided to take the train from Boylston.
I think my face was totally cranky or this guy could see complete desperate in my face that made him come and sit beside me in station while we were waiting for the train. I wasn’t able to look anywhere but straight. I was afraid I might lose my temper or start to cry. I wished I would say CHEZIM and I reach home….
He looked at me and said:” Such a beautiful life, I’ve never seen so many happy people in my whole life!”
I just chuckled and I couldn’t say anything, not even a word. But at least he made me to smile a little bit. I don’t need to say the tears started to come down the moment I sat in the train on a single seat and I couldn’t stop it. The guy who was in front of me stared at me but I’m sure he was afraid of asking the reason. He probably thought I’ve lost somebody or something, or I’ve been in a big fight with my husband, or I broke up because I couldn’t have a baby (I was staring to woman with two small kids in front of me to distract my minds), or I don’t know what else he might think about but I’m sure he couldn’t guess about my situation, not in a million….
Who would guess somebody else’s mistake made me in such a bad immigration problem that I might have to leave everything and just go because I didn’t want to make a mistake?!!
I just remember the tears didn’t stop for about 20 minutes and I didn’t have even a small tissue to wipe them off!! I was angry with myself and kept saying in my mind that it wasn't end of the world, it wasn't something that horrible, it was just losing some money and leave for a while. Then again I thought about my sweetheart,she would be depressed if I had to take her away....
Now it's all over and we've been back to routine life. When I think about that sunny day, I should acknowledge that life is beautiful even when you are desperate in a sunny day in south of Boston, even when you can't stop crying in the train and even with with all of its problems.

Don't forget your jacket in the summer!

2007-08-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

By the time that I lived in Florida everybody whom we talked to and asked about the weather over there, we'd just say it's not that warm because everywhere we went was quite chilly. Perhaps people who wanted to fight with the hot and humid weather outside would forget about keeping it the way to be tolerable on the other way! I always had to keep a light jacket in one of my drawers at work. In winter we didn’t have that much problem because it wasn’t that cold or that warm outside.
It seems Bostonians are badly used to cold weather like penguins! Or they are really used to carry on a jacket all the time, in the winter for outside and in the summer for inside the buildings, buses or trains. Interesting is that here you even don’t need a warm pullover in the winter because you feel sick inside the places that you might catch a cold in the summer.
What do you think? Isn’t that kind of wasting energy?

Land of opportunity

2007-07-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I ask myself eventually when and where we are going to settle down. Four years ago I even didn’t think about such a change, different environment, different country, different language, my sweetheart hardly speaks her mother language and we have been far from everybody we really loved.
Sometimes it seems nobody is settled down in this country. There are a lot of different languages and colors everywhere and they are all called as foreigners. African-American are the biggest minority group and sometimes it’s really unfair to call them “minority”.
These people after hundreds of years still are called as “Black People”. Still their language is “Black English” and they live in a “Black community” which is considered as a not very safe place. They have their “Black culture” because they’d brought here as black and still they carry this title because of their color.
So what are we going to be after all have happened to us, many of us are here illegal, many are as refugees and those who are legal like us and in a good considerable situation, still when are asked about our nationality they jump a step back when hear our answer. We are the people who are considered as “terrorist” who knows how many years we are going to live with it.
Who is the real owner of this land? Those who came here as pilgrims because they ran from their own king (refugees)? Or those who killed their own brothers to earn a land? This land is land of refugees, land of immigrants and land of all who were looking for a better life. This is the land of opportunity.

Applause for Potter Readers

2007-07-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

One of the benefits of living in a big city is having some time just for yourself and you can use it in any way you like even though it's on a moving train or bus full of passengers. Most people use it for reading the morning paper or a book. I finished a lot of books in train during last couple of months. This week I could see many people with the last “Harry Potter” on their hands. In today’s “Boston NOW” there was a short column from a blogger:
“…The one thing I noticed a lot is how people occupy themselves on the T. electronically, conversationally and written…..sitting Potter Readers are doing fine. It’s the ones who are not only standing, but standing with no personal space, holding onto this large novel with one hand and holding on for dear life with the other, somehow turning the pages. I applaud you Potter Readers!!”

Technology

2007-07-25T19:21:00.001-07:00

Ever since the technology got the power of communication and every mail got a prefix of “e”, it got weird to write on the developed papyrus (paper), the habit that sometimes made me feel better and I could leave a little bit of daily or weekly weight on a page. For a while I didn't know what to do with this weight and it seemed strange to use the old way. In the first couple of months I wrote a letter for my mom because I knew she wouldn’t have email to write her everyday but after a while even SHE started a new email account and learned to use "pinglish"to send emails! So that seemed to be the end of writing letters.
I'm sure if I had come to this journey ten years ago, I'd have a big novel of all had happened so far. I can’t trust my memory forever, so I have to publish some of the things that are interesting or important to me.

Start

2007-07-25T12:04:00.000-07:00

I thought I should start some where, one day....even without knowing what to write about. Atleast when I need to write something I'll have a place to publish it.
It’s going to be in English because I don’t have the right font to right in my own language. Most of my time at computer is passed outside of house and on public computers and they are usually restricted and I’m not able to add the proper fonts. At least I tried couple of times and I wasn’t successful. I think it might be full of grammatical mistakes but it's probably all right and I’ll try my best to improve it step by step.